Exploring the Inner Critic

 

 Exploring the Inner Critic

 

Question from someone: I have a critical voice inside my head. How can I keep it from holding me back in so many things I’d like to be doing or making me feel I am never enough?

Answers:

Criticism, Separation-consciousness, Power, and Creation

I can relate! For longer than I can remember, there’s been a constant stream of thoughts in my mind, foreground or background. Thoughts like: Not there yet, and ought to be. There’s something I’m not doing adequately or correctly here. Not good enough yet. Should, shouldn’t, ought to, ought not to. Those thoughts generate constant feelings like: discontent, disgruntlement, tension, frustration, even guilt. Of course I’ve been “working” on this matter for years, but lately I’ve revisited some old insights and received some new ones. They’re making a difference.

If someone outside of me were constantly criticizing me that way it would clearly be a toxic relationship. I’d label them an emotional abuser and I’d seek to leave. And if I saw someone else being subjected to that I’d pity them and say “You don’t have a good quality of life and wellbeing. This is not an appropriate way for a living creature to live. You are only half alive.” Yet those insights haven’t been sufficient to fully silence my inner critic.

From some teachings I’ve read recently, I realized that all this self-criticism is a form of resistance to what is. And resistance to what is not only makes what is persist, I now believe it is the most fundamental disempowering thing one can do.

For many months I’ve been living in the inquiry of what was the first step out of Unity consciousness into separation consciousness that I took as a soul, so long ago. I’m a bit closer to an answer as I realize that any form of resistance to what is immediately takes away or diminishes my empowerment as a Source Energy Being, my rightful natural portion of Divine Creative Power. So “If I were God, I wouldn’t have created whatever I am experiencing now” is a good candidate for that first step into separation-consciousness.

That seems to be why so many spiritual teachers suggest we start with self-love and self-forgiveness, and why they emphasize “acceptance” of what is. Without those, we are separate from our full power to change whatever is.

It seems paradoxical, but it seems true, that we must fully own that we’ve created whatever we are experiencing, no matter how awful it is, before we can access the fullness of our natural inherent power to change it. To get anywhere, we must start from where we are.

The profundity of that truth constantly amazes me, along with how often I attempt to start from somewhere other than a portion of the Creative Force that is creating what is right here right now. Frequent “other places to attempt to start from” include “should/shouldn’t, ought/ought not.” They don’t offer solid ground to stand on to start moving from.) I must be the Creator before I can be the Changer.

 

Criticism and Motivation

If the motivation of my Inner Critic is to spur me into improving, doing better, doing well, then its methods are known to be ineffective, inefficient, even counter-productive compared to encouragement, acknowledgement, and confidence in me. Our actions cannot contravene our self-image; self-image, or identity, overrides any emotional motivation. Criticism tends to create a self-image that actually generates the opposite of what the critic thinks it is promoting.

If the basic motivation of the Inner Critic is loving, then its expression as criticism is misguided. Loving-kindness is far more effective, efficient, and life-enhancing. How would loving-kindness be expressed by a revised, updated Inner Critic? I think it would give acknowledgment, encouragement, and express confidence. It would see the glass as already half-full, not be constantly focused and fretting that the glass is still half-empty. Acknowledgement, encouragement, and confidence accomplish in life-enhancing ways what criticism might be aimed at but actually sabotages.

 

Powerful side-thought about Inner Critic

How can I be radiating loving vibes to others, as I am called to do, when I’m constantly whacking myself over the head, inside?? I might say or do loving-kind things, and feel loving-kind often, but the fundamental constant vibration of my consciousness and embodiment has hostility, anger, annoyance, frustration, and resentment notes in it. And that thought doesn’t feel like a criticism, it provides incentive to allow and encourage Inner Critic to fade away or reinvent itself.

 

Standing as Creator

On the way to healing should/ought, and resistance to what is, these thoughts were helpful: Things start in the invisible. This is the opposite of the reality we are indoctrinated with. I sense that it’s the length of time between our intention and will, and the resulting manifestation, that leads us to doubt the degree of our rightful creative power: “It isn’t here yet so I must lack the power.”

On the upper dimensions, which our soul remembers our experiences of, manifestation is instantaneous so creative power is clear. Designing time into the process has led us to believe we are NOT powerful creators, that we are separate from creative power, that we are at the effect of our previous creations and cannot change them.

 

 

I am learning to not regard myself as trapped, stuck, at the effect of “what is” because what is now in 3D is what I created some time ago. I own and affirm my full rightful creative power, and don’t let the time gap convince me otherwise. I break out of feeling stuck with what is, helpless to change it because it involves suffering and I haven’t yet been able to change it, so I must lack the power. Then that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Giving the Inner Critic a new job

From my training in NLP, I learned that however much suffering they cause, most of our inner parts are trying to help us, protect us, in some way. Rather than try to get rid of them or dissolve them, it is often easier simply to give them a new purpose, one that doesn't have the old detrimental side-effects.

So I'm working with giving my inner critic the job of noticing and being alert to when I am giving away my power, or feeling disempowered, and reminding me that to feel superb and super, I can reclaim my natural rightful creative power.

What's your experience? Share in the comments below.

 

By Rev. Alia Zara Aurami-Sou, Ph.D.

This article is presented and provided to you by "Amplifying Divine Light in All" Church
Our main religious purpose and mission is to amplify the Divine Light in everyone. When you read this article, you will agree or disagree with its various points, and then you will know more about what is true for you. Knowing more of your own Truth amplifies your Divine Light. Thus providing/presenting this article is one way for us to accomplish our purpose and mission.
 

This article and our providing/presenting it are therefore an integral and central part of our exercise and practice of our religion.
None of the contents herein are claimed as absolute truth. They represent one possible perspective which might prove useful for you.
 

All rights reserved under the Common Law. This means please respect our creatorship.
We invite your comments and responses!