Self-Forgiveness and Quality of Life

Self-Forgiveness and Quality of Life

Rev. Alia Zara Aurami-Sou, Ph.D.

Head Minister

Executive Summary:



I need self-forgiveness, self-compassion. Otherwise, how can I be lighthearted and allow myself to live happily while I remember many yukky things I did in past lives? Compassion from the Mystery of the Sacred Heart of Christ-consciousness was my answer, allowing me "Mature Innocence," and the resulting ability to really LIVE fully and happily.



My human mind humbly gave my guilt and suffering, and all the suffering I ever thought I caused, into that Infinite Compassion, and that did more for me than my mental understanding about Divine Purposes, and about voluntariness of every experience for everyone, etc. The Sacred Heart of Christ-consciousness is not a Christian mental concept. It is IMO an actual portion of the Infinite Consciousness, an energy-awareness- space-Beingness that I stumbled into on my own.



Elaboration:



Lest you think I spend all my time in abstract ideas, I thought I would share one past Issue of the Week in my spiritual evolution. Putting deep emotional and upper-dimension "ineffable" stuff into words is one of my special gifts, so don't be misled by my eloquence into concluding that my inner experience on this is ONLY mental, in words. FAAAAAAR from it.



I have been experiencing waves of lightheartedness and unclouded innocence/freedom coming into my psyche and body, and my human self has been resisting them. Saying "How can I possibly feel that way when I know many horrible things I have done in past lives, and the usual kinds of not-so-nice things everyone does, in this life? I can't just pretend they never happened, which is what this energy feels like. They did, and I don't want to forget about them. I don't want to waste and just discard them. They were created for a purpose, those experiences, and the way I feel about them."



I do of course understand that everything that happens is voluntary and by mutual agreement, on the Spirit levels. I do of course understand that everything that happens is designed for the one purpose of helping all involved awaken to their True Divine Nature, so as to appreciate it more than before forgetting it. I have of course done my own version of the Radical Forgiveness process (a MUST READ book by Colin Tipping, with groups and workshops all over the world) many times.



Nonetheless, there was a part of me saying "Those experiences were awful and yet valuable. How can I live as if they never happened? That would not be accurate, and it would not harvest their value, the purpose for which they were designed and manifested. Yet I know I can't stay mired in them. This self-condemnation, this guilt, is not a way to live. It is handicapping my aliveness. It does not represent the ultimate Truth of It All. My human self doesn't know the way out of all this, so I ask for help from my Invisible Highest Friends.



The solution, the answer, the experience that resulted, was heartbreakingly sweet. It is still unfolding and integrating into my embodiment (body, mind, emotions, soul.) First you have to understand my idea/experience I have labelled the Mystery of the Sacred Heart of Christ-consciousness. It is a place of and source of Infinite Compassion. Infinite. Ultimate. Unconditional. Total. I have concluded that what the spiritual teachers call Compassion is really the answer to how we are to cope with and regard all of human "suffering," including our own, and this is the ultimate of that.



There are all the MENTAL explanations for suffering, including what I said above, but when ya get right down to it, the MIND cannot come to terms with suffering. It makes no SENSE and we cannot imagine a God who would permit it or even create it. Suffering is alien to our True Nature on the upper dimensions of our Selves; it was a specially constructed experience of a portion of our consciousness-Self, for a special purpose, but it was awful. It hurt. It was horrifying. It was not Normal, not Natural, and not Appropriate to our Nature as that nature exists ABOVE this plane on which we live in judgments of good and evil.



Suffering is not evil, in the usual sense, in my view, but it sure doesn't feel good, even if it was for an ultimately "Good" purpose beyond our "knowledge of good and evil."So, my human self has ventured into Compassion, but never seemed to totally "get" it, or get "there." What to do. Dilemma.



My best spiritual teachers used to talk about The Mystery of It All, and suggest that our human consciousness ultimately has to surrender everything into the Mystery, as the Answers--including the full experience of Divine Compassion--are beyond our comprehension. Of course my nature as Divine Intelligence resisted that for a long time. Ain't nuthin' I can't understand. NOT.



With time, over 20 years, I have kinda evolved a relationship with this Thingy I call the Sacred Heart of Christ-consciousness, which ALONE holds the answer, the solution, the ability to take in and resolve, ALL our anguish, all our anger at God, all our suffering, all our suffering about others' suffering, all of that. And it's a Mystery, because I don't understand in my mind how it operates. All I know is that when I am overwhelmed, and at the end of my rope, and can't let go of that cosmic level of anguish and anger and guilt, I simply GIVE it all to the Mystery to remember, to process, to deal with, and NO MORE QUESTIONS OR PAINS REMAIN in me.



Spiritual teachers talk about how in the Heart--when we are in the open flow of Divine Infinite Unconditional Being-Love--we feel that there are no more questions, all is clear somehow, nothing feels unresolved. That is my experience. Have you been there yet?



What I understood about my current issue is that if in humility of Mind I give all my guilt, all the memories of the yukkiness of what I have done, to the Mystery of the Sacred Heart of Christ-consciousness, what I come out with on the other side is what might be called MATURE INNOCENCE. Not as if all my experiences never happened. No, but still unclouded, somehow. And with the compassionate wisdom I gained through them. And with the ability to no longer be in any way weighed down by them in my aliveness. They no longer have ANY power whatsoever to diminish my lightheartedness, my innocence, my willingness to receive and accept Good Things in Life.



I am truly in a RADICAL kind of self-forgiveness, self-love. Of course, my emotions and mind and body are still getting the message, still transforming, but it's in process.



Why is this important? If you listen carefully, MANY spiritual teachers say that SELF-LOVE properly understood and accepted, is THE ONE AND ACTUAL KEY to spiritual realization, awakening, enlightenment, whatever your term for it. We tend to ignore that as "too simple" or sounding too "selfish." Not. It can be a very complex and challenging process!!!!!



So that's one of my Issues of the Week (ha! month?) in my evolution, and I hope some of these words and their energy find their way into your experience and are uplifting for you. Blessings on your journey on this planet.


This article is presented and provided to you by "Amplifying Divine Light in All" Church.
Our main religious purpose and mission is to amplify the Divine Light in everyone. When you read this article, you will agree or disagree with its various points, and then you will know more about what is true for you. Knowing more of your own Truth amplifies your Divine Light.
Thus providing/presenting this article is one way for us to accomplish our purpose and mission. This article and our providing/presenting it are therefore an integral part of our exercise and practice of our religion.
Nothing in this article is claimed as absolute truth. It represents one possible interpretation or perspective or model of thinking which might prove useful for you.
All rights reserved under the Common Law. This means please respect our creatorship.
We invite your comments and responses!